Christmas Tunes and Freedom

College broke up for Christmas today and words cannot express how happy that makes me. It's getting to the point where I really cannot stand to be in the place and the thought that I finally have some time to myself and don't have to get up at stupid 'o'clock is simply heavenly. There are so many people that I cannot stand to be around and I don't have to see them until next year!  Glorious! 

But anyhoo. This is supposed to be a cheery post full of Christmas joy and Yuletide happiness.

I really am looking forward to Christmas this year. The entire family is going to be home which consists of Mum, Dad, the sister, two brothers and the fiancée of a brother. It's all very exciting even though there will be precisely no room to move.

Here's the Ruddy household crimbo tree. 

Now, when it comes to Christmas shopping (or anything for that matter) I am rubbish. I always have so many ideas except that they never really materialise. I'm one of those people that have the very best of intentions and then never seem to get around to making them happen. Or I manage to get my Crimbo shopping done a week or two before christmas with a relieved sigh that I managed to finish it in reasonable time. But this year I have done precisely.... nothing. Not a single present has been brought or wrapped (which is the best part of Christmas shopping. I love me a good wrapping session) and I'm feeling pretty shame faced. 

Apart from the fact that I haven't brought anything, I have very limited funds to buy anything with. So I'm sorry if you're a member of my family/friend. You won't be getting anything lavish this year. 

But that doesn't matter. Christmas isn't just about the presents and one of the main things that I love about Christmas is the songs. Speaking of which, I  found an absolute gem this year from the Supereme Fabulettes with the video being directed by Boy George. Campness, scorned drag queens and christmas cheer. What more could you possibly want?! 

At my house, the musical selection at christmas isn't just your typical songs that are overly played around this time of year, I love the littler known ones. Stop the Cavalry by Jona Lewis is played and known, but I personally don't think that it's well known enough. It's such a good song and always gets me bobbing along. Jonas voice is so flat and deadpan that it just works even though it probably really really shouldn't. 

One of my all time favourite songs isn't really known at all. Hard Candy Christmas by Dolly Parton is a song from the 80s musical "The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas" (an incredible film, by the way. Dolly Parton running an old-timey whorehouse? Be still my beating heart) So technically it's not actually a christmas song and it's not the cheeriest of tunes, but it definitely reminds me of christmas and I only hear it at this time of year so to me, it is offically a crimbo tune. It's a slow and beautiful country ditty and Dolly sings it flawlessly. I love it. 

There really are a lack of good christmas tunes being released these days. Gone are the cheesy tunes that everyone pretends that they don't love but then belt out with the best of them. So I say down with cheap X factor covers.  Let us go back to the 80s and whack out some classic tunes that will be played in 30 years. Lets go all Wham! and have our 10's equivalent to Last Christmas.

I hope that you're all enjoying your build up to christmas! And if you're not then there really is no hope for you. Change your name to "Grinch" and go live in a mountain. 

M x 

Bitch Form

I am currently an 18 year old (19 on the 4th of January!! Don't forget it!) that is back at sixth form and officially a "year 14". I'm redoing my final year because I needed two more qualifications to get onto the course that I want to do at university - Public Relations. For those of you who don't know the English schooling system, sixth form is for those aged 16 - 18 and is called Year 12/Lower Sixth and Year 13/Upper sixth. I've probably not explained this very well but stay with me. Because I'm redoing a year and am (nearly) 19 not 18, I'm that little bit older and have had three years in sixth form, not the usual two. 

Now, I really like sixth form. We have a reasonable nice common room complete with kettle, microwave and pool table. We have (semi)comfortable seating and it's warm, which is the main thing. We no longer have to hang around outside like strays when it rains. That's always nice. I don't have a full timetable anymore so I have time to catch up on work or, more often, relax with a cup of coffee. But there is a big downfall to being cooped up with a load of people who very often don't get on; 

Sixth Form turns into - in the words of a friend of mine - "Bitch Form". 

In my year group, there were never really too many arguments. There was the occasional spat that kicked off, but it was never really anything big. People bitched about eachother - you're always going to get that - but I think that most of the time the bitching was about people that didn't go to the school any longer. We were a pretty harmonious year that got along as well as a group of people have little in common except that they just so happened to be born in the same year can.  What I've noticed in the year below me - the now year 13s - is that there isn't often a day that passes that someone's not bitching about someone else. I admit, I'm all for a little bitching and I'm not claiming to be a saint who never gossip, but I have never seen anything like I have this year. A group of people will be sat together perfectly happily and then one will walk away and be completely torn apart. Can someone please explain to me how that works? It feels as if you have to stay in your seat from the start of the day until the end or you're risking being absolutely slated because of what you're wearing/your weight/who you're friends with/what you did at the weekend. I know that's the nature of teenagers, but it was never like that in my year group so it's not very pleasant to hear. 

And then there are the intergroup wars. So-and-so hates so-and-so. He hates her because she hates him because he hates her because she said something about him three years ago. I just don't understand it. Different 'groups' sit acrosss from eachother and just stare eachother down despite never really talking to any of the people that they apparently despise. Whatever happened to don't judge a book by its cover? Or don't judge someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes?? Apparently it was thrown out the window along with love thy neighbour. 

Personally, I can't be bothered with the ridiculously petty arguments, name calling and mumbled insults that are dished out on a daily basis.

It's nearly Christmas. Let us spread some love, not rumours. 

In other news, my darling friend had her first exhibition of her uni work today (Good Luck Jess!!), my sister sent me some rather amusing photos that brightened up my day an unreasonable amount (see below) and I booked my driving test!! Word of warning : stay off the roads on the 31st of January 2013, people!! 

M x

Such larks. 

And for the love of god, does anyone know what this makeup brush does?! What's its use?! How does it work!? It's a flat fan! How is that productive?!

There's a Starman waiting in the sky...

This song has been stuck in my head since the moment I woke up this morning and because of it, I have done quite a bit of reading on the Ziggy Stardust story. For those of you who don't know, Ziggy Stardust was David Bowie's alter-ego in the 70's whos lifestory was (sort of) told through his 1972 album "The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars". 

In an interview with Rolling Stones magazine, Bowie expanded Ziggys story, explaining : 

The time is five years to go before the end of the earth. It has been announced that the world will end because of lack of natural resources. Ziggy is in a position where all the kids have access to things that they thought they wanted. The older people have lost all touch with reality and the kids are left on their own to plunder anything. Ziggy was in a rock-and-roll band and the kids no longer want rock-and-roll. There's no electricity to play it. Ziggy's adviser tells him to collect news and sing it, 'cause there is no news. So Ziggy does this and there is terrible news. 'All the young dudes' is a song about this news. It's no hymn to the youth as people thought. It is completely the opposite. [...]

The end comes when the infinites arrive. They really are a black hole, but I've made them people because it would be very hard to explain a black hole on stage. [...]

Ziggy is advised in a dream by the infinites to write the coming of a Starman, so he writes 'Starman', which is the first news of hope that the people have heard. So they latch onto it immediately...The starmen that he is talking about are called the infinites, and they are black-hole jumpers. Ziggy has been talking about this amazing spaceman who will be coming down to save the earth. They arrive somewhere in Greenwich Village. They don't have a care in the world and are of no possible use to us. They just happened to stumble into our universe by black hole jumping. Their whole life is travelling from universe to universe. In the stage show, one of them resembles Brando, another one is a Black New Yorker. I even have one called Queenie, the Infinite Fox...Now Ziggy starts to believe in all this himself and thinks himself a prophet of the future starmen. He takes himself up to the incredible spiritual heights and is kept alive by his disciples. When the infinites arrive, they take bits of Ziggy to make them real because in their original state they are anti-matter and cannot exist in our world. And they tear him to pieces on stage during the song 'Rock 'n' roll suicide'. As soon as Ziggy dies on stage the infinites take his elements and make themselves visible"

Bowie did actually "kill off" Ziggy with a final performance of Rock 'n' Roll Suicide in 1973.

I adore the lyrics to Starman and the whole idea of it. So beautiful. 

I'm a massive Bowie fan and regularly have a new favourite song of his, but for the moment it's definitely Starman. 

Just look at all that fabulous!

M x 

How Anonymity is Changing the face of Bullies

Something I heard on the radio recently has really got me thinking. It lead to one of my train of thoughts that isn't really a simple one way track, more the pieces of train track that kids have that they can put together to push their toy trains along - that's quite a good analogy for how I think actually. Far better than simply saying 'all over the place'. But I digress. This report was yet another report on cyberbullying and at first I ignore it because, although a big problem, there's nothing that I can really do about it. Bullying is something that I feel is never really going to be stopped. It's horrific and we've all heard reports where children and teens have taken their own lives after being bullied, but unless you know someone who is being bullied / bullying, what can you really do to help? My view is that no amount of campaigning will stop playground bullies doing what they do best - they're always going to be around. I wish there was a way to banish them for all eternity, but I don't think we will. 

But anyway, so this report was going on about cyberbullying which got me thinking about how incredible the internet is. Yes, it has changed the way that the entire world works, but it has also allowed your typical playground bully to evolve and become a full time, vicious terror. 

Back in yee olden day before the days of the tinterweb, a child that was being bullied would be able to go home and hide. When the school bell rang, their day of hell would (generally) be over. But now that isn't so. Let's face it, everyone has a mobile and FaceBook and/or Twitter these days. Or Tumblr. Or Myspace. Or Pinterest. The list goes on.... 

And now, we connect it to my post title. You used to know who it was that was bullying you. There were ways of avoiding them - not all the time but occasionally. Nowadays there is no hiding because if they have your number, you're harassed. If they find you on a social networking site, you're harassed.

 Nowadays, you can be bullied by someone that you've never even met. 

Someone in America could, for instance, chance upon my blog and dislike it or disagree with my views or opinions. They could take an instant dislike to me although they have never met me and don't know anything about me except snippets of my life that are found on the internet. They could then comment on this post with anything they liked, making it as hurtful as possible. My other account names are shared on my blog, so they could then continue this attack on my Tumblr inbox behind a grey face that I would never be able to trace. I would never know who they are. I'd never meet them. They'd never meet me. But they'd be able to plague me. I find this quite a scary thing. 

Personally, I'm not sure how I would feel if this were happen to me. I suppose I was lucky in the way that I was never severely bullied and so never had to cope with what some kids and teens do today. But if, for example, someone were to take it upon themselves to abuse me on my Tumblr page, I don't know what I would do. Sure, you can stop Anon hate by turning off the option to have anonymous messages, but I find anon messages half the fun! So it doesn't happen that often, but a little grey face saying they love your blog or asking a question can really make you smile, so why should I have to turn off anon because of one low life? I shouldn't. I'm trying not to make this sound like I feel 'ohhh this didn't happen in my day' because I'm only 18 and sure, people were cyberbullied in 'my day' but it wasn't such an easy thing as it is today. But the fact is, I feel sorry for the "children" of today because it's hard enough growing up, let alone having someone able to harass and put you down no matter where you go. 

Bullying isn't personal any more. A person can be any one they like as long as they are careful to not reveal who they really are. 

This is the end of my ill-organised, nonsensical post. You probably feel as if you've wasted a minute or two reading it. I apologise. 

M x 

Ps. I passed my driving theory test today!! I failed it by one mark on the hazard perception section last time and passed by one mark this time. 

Good enough for me, Larry!

Bring on the Classy Lipstick...

So I've not been wearing lipsticks long because to be honest, I always found them a bit intimidating. I've always thought that it can look really cheap and trashy when teenyboppers wear lipsticks and I really didn't want to put myself in that bracket, despite being desperate to be the kind of person who is never seen without her lipstick on. Well I'm most certainly not that type of woman (yet! Mission is still well and truly under way) but I am getting more and more lipsticks under my belt. 

The one that I have always really wanted is the perfect red. There is something about bold red lips that I simply adore but when done wrong, it can be the perfect shade of whore. Not a good look. You need to find one that has the exact right tones ("Surely red is red?" asks my younger self. Wrong, child. You know nothing) that compliment your skin tone or you really do look like you've been feeding on blood. 

So anyway. I chanced upon this little beauty when a friend lent it to me on a night out and I absolutely fell in love and brought one of my own the next day. 

Barry M Lip Paint in 121 Pillar Box Red  ~ £4.00

So this is a really bold red that applies really smoothly and has a beautiful matte finish. The packaging is really sleek with a simple black soft touch cover that makes the red of the lipstick pop even more and catches peoples eye even before you've applied it. Its staying power is quite good and I've found that it fades evenly, so no nasty blotchy lippy. Ew. 

Excuse the weird faces in these photos!!

I really love this lipstick and it's perfect for a night out or in the day if I'm feeling particularly daring ;)  I've tried a couple in the past and because I have a really pale skin tone, they've always been pretty overwhelming. I think it may have been because the red has just been too deep. 

For £4, it's an absolute bargain and I'd highly recommend it to my fellow pale skinned gals!

What do you think? And what's your favourite lipstick? Pop of colour or keep it neutral?? Lemme know!

M x 

Monday Funday

So today is the 26th and that means that Christmas is under a month away. As a massive Christmas geek, I am so excited and the Christmas songs that are being played on the radio have a tendency to put me in a pretty good mood. So today started out well. 

Hairstyle of the day (for those who care) turned out quite nicely - I think anyway. My hair is usually an absolute nightmare. I'm not one of those who can get out of bed and have flawless bed-hair that is beautifully arranged in a carefree manner. That's not me. But I clipped it all up with some pins and added a bow that I made from blue polka dot material and a bobby pin. 

Yes. I the changed my top. Mainly because I realised that I would be freezing if I were to wear a strappy top  in the middle of Winter. 

Anyway. So then I gots me an email from UCAS saying something on my University application has changed and it turns out that I have a conditional offer from Bournemouth University! This is the one that I've been waiting for and I'm so happy that I finally got it! I want to do Public Relations and this year so far has been such a drag because all my friends went off to uni last year and I stayed behind to do another year at college so I could get on this course. 

I then spent the evening with two of my best friends watching Ted - quick review: It's a pretty funny film but not really my usual kinda thing. 

Eek! So this has been a pretty good day full of laughs and good news! Is this the end of the dreaded Moandays and the beginning of Monday Funday?? Here's hoping. Things are certainly looking up.  

So how was your Monday? And are any of you readers applying for university this year?? Let me know!! 

M x

Procrastination at its Very Best.

So it's Sunday evening and I've had a very relaxing weekend so far - I've done nothing that was particularly taxing, I've been to work for a couple of hours and earned me some money, I've painted my nails 3 times and watched copious amounts of TV that I really didn't need to watch. I've even taken apart my Ipod and tried to replace it's severally broken screen (it's still broken and it still doesn't work. Gold star for trying). And now it's 17.20 and I'm sat at the kitchen table suitably surrounded by papers and I'm trying to work myself up to do the tasks that I've been putting off all weekend. 

Two fascinating English essays. 

Don't get me wrong, I love English. I really do. We're learning about Victorians and as a topic that has always interested me, I've found it far easier than I think many of my classmates have. And I don't particularly struggle writing essays as I know many others do. My problem is the actual sitting-down-and-writing part. I've found that I am, like all good members of Tumblr, an incredible procrastinator. I will do anything to put off a task that I really need to do.  My room is cleaner than it has been for weeks. My sketchbook has found itself being used for the first time since the last essay I needed to do (see below) and the washing machine and tumble dryer have been working away all afternoon. 

I'm thinking of a million more things that I need to do. Surely my phone needs more memory - I should probably go through my photos and delete the unwanted ones. How is Mum going to know what I want for christmas if I don't write her a list? Right now. My Tumblr queue is getting below 150... I should probably add some more things to it. And as for my blog - well it definitely needs to be updated! And so here I am. Wasting time and trying to ignore the script for The French Lieutenant's Woman and the photocopy of Jane Eyre that are sat beside me waiting to be analysed to death by yet another student. 

But for now, I suppose that I really had better get this done. Alas, poor me. 

If anyone has actually read this mind-numbing post of mine designed to waste even more time, then let me know how you procrastinate. I could always use more tips!! ;)

Although come to think of it, my FanFiction does need a new chapter or two... and I could do with a coffee....

M x

The Obsessive Mind of a Fangirl.

So if there is one thing that people know about me, it's that when I get obsessed with something/someone, I really go to town. I don't mean in a stalker-standing-outside-their-house way; I don't get overly attached to boyfriends or the people around me. But more to celebrities in a "You are incredible" kind of way. I am, in other words, a fangirl. 

My question is this : Is it unhealthy to be a hardcore fangirl?

I don't know where this obsessive character trait of mine has come from or when it really began but when I watch a show/hear more music by/read more and more about a person, I can feel the fangirl in me begin to awaken and wave around screaming about how fabulous they are. 

Some may say this is unhealthy and I suppose that to a certain extent I agree, but then again I harm noone and I like to think that the line between reality and fantasy aren't blurred. I am under no false illusions that me and *blank* are going to become best friends and go out for brunch to put the world to rights over a cup of tea and a panini. And I know that, living where I do, it's unlikely I'll even meet *blank* *blank* or *blank*. 

The good side of obsession

Fangirling, as many of you (you being the readers that I will imagine I have) will know, is a full time job. I can't really think of a time when I didn't have something or other to fangirl about. I think I've always had the mindset that I either dislike something or out-and-out love it. For instance, my first 'obsession' was Cher. 

I still absolute adore Cher, I always have and I think I always will. When I was as young as 3 or 4, Cher was always my favourite singer. I loved her showmanship and her ever changing image. Nowadays I suppose the sparkles and 'out there' outfits are all part of the package, but when I was younger there was no Gaga or Minaj. To me, there was only Cher. Some of my crazes fade, but this one is far too shiny and fabulous to do that. It's lasted 18 years so far and like the lady herself, I think it will stand the test of time. 

Cher-y goodness. Just look at those sequins. 

Another biggy in my fangirl head is Helena Bonham Carter. 

Photo Credit to mandrakescry.tumblr.com

Over the last few years, I've noticed that the view of HBC is slipping from the 'she's a mess and I don't like her' view and into the 'she's eccentric and a national treasure' view. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad that she's recognised as the truly incredible actress that she is, but the hypocrisy of it all infuriates me. But that is something I will probably cover in another post at a later date. Helena. Now, she has been the big obsession of my teenage years really. To have a role model that defies all the laws of celebrity and does what she damn well wants is so refreshing. She isn't different in the way that every single other celebrity is different - she doesn't wear outlandish things for attention or the paps. How do I know that? Because yes, she steps out in strange combinations of clothes that are sometimes eyecatching and sometimes insane, but at the same time she often has no make-up on, flawed hair, mismatching socks. Do you see many other high profile celebrities doing the same thing on a regular basis? Not that I can think of. She's a normal person who doesn't plan what 'crazy' thing she is going to wear so that she gets in the mags and rags; she's a woman who has two kids and a full time job - albeit not your regular 9 to 5 - who is going to the shop for milk or *gasp* a chocolate bar. Not to mention her eclectic backlog of films and absolutely flawless performances in each and every one of them. HBC, I take my many hats off to you. And necklaces. And sunglasses. And z-coils... 

Keeley Hawes. 

This particular obsession is intertwined with Ashes to Ashes and Gene Hunt, I must say. Ashes is where I first saw Keeley (that I remember) and I absolutely fell in love with the 80s and all things Drake. I didn't watch the show when it first came out and have only watched it this year on Netflix but oh my gosh, it is incredible. I would recommend it to anyone and the Ashes/Keeley fandoms are just amazing. Ashes to Ashes, despite finishing just over 2 years ago, has a fandom that is still going strong and is so welcoming. But to Keeley. Again, I doubt that I will ever meet Keeley in person but from what I have heard, she is such a lovely person. This doesn't come from just one account either. I've spoken to many people who have said that she always has time for fans, replies to every letter she receives and is genuinely grateful for what life has given her. I don't think I can really explain why I like Keeley. Although not as much as a household name as people such as Helena, I find Keeley amazing. She's an incredible actress and so wonderfully down to earth, it's hard not to want to sit down with her and have a glass of wine. But, as I've said, that's not going to happen. Don't worry - I don't haunt her local cafes in the hopes she'll join me for a cuppa.

So anyway, I think this post is quite long enough and has gone on far longer than I intended. But I must say, although my self-proclaimed obsessions are seen as weird by a lot of people, they have also helped me to meet people that I never would have met otherwise. This ranges from people in college that I have analysed Doctor Who with to people in America who love Meryl Streep that I have fangirled with. My best friend who I could not possible love more filled that position through fangirling and although she lives on the other side of the country and I haven't seen her in over a year, we still have regular keyboard bashing 'asdfghjkl' sessions about our latest love. 

And so, no. I don't think it's unhealthy to fangirl. I know some people don't understand why I love certain things or people so much but I, personally, think it has made me who I am. 

And to all of you who don't get emotionally attached to a TV show or feel the need to watch everything one actor/actress has ever been in : I don't understand you.

So what about you, readers? I'd love to know your thoughts on fangirling and your obsessions! 

M x 

Let's Start from the Very Beginning

And so it begins. I’ve been meaning to start a blog for a very long time now because there are far too many thoughts floating around in this head of mine and it’s been said that writing them down (and broadcasting them to, theoretically, the entire world) is good for you. So world; here I am. This is my blog. That is my face. This is me.

The many blogs that I have read are neatly presented with a running theme that brings in avid readers and dedicated followers that await the next post with bated breath. They end up getting freebies from companies who are simply dying for them to review their latest goodie.  This will not be one of those blogs. For a start, I’m far too disorganised and far too scatty to even consider thinking about making a blog that has a tidy running theme that will involve reviews of my recent make up purchases or how my latest cake baking session panned out. Apart from anything else – I’m too skint to buy exotic products every other day and I’d rather leave the cake making to my sister who can rustle up a perfectly moist-yet-springy, beautifully decorated cake in the blink of an eye. My attempt at throwing together eggs and flour in a Nigella-esque way doesn’t end with a pretty sight. Ever.

And therefore, I shall be my own type of blog. Whatever catches my eye, becomes my latest obsession or my latest frustration will find itself on this page being read by the internet. Or not, as the case may be. But hey, it is what it is.

And so I sign off my first post in the hopes that it doesn’t remain my only post and I become one of those “Oh-I-had-a-blog-I-only-posted-once-and-then-gave-up" people. I hate those people.

M x