My Norwegian Adventure

It was my 21st birthday in January. Yeah, I appreciate that was a while ago but you see, I have recently cashed in my birthday present so I hope you're sitting comfortably because you're about to hear all about it. 

I really didn't know what I wanted for my birthday. As it's a big one, my 'rents told me I could have a lil' think about it and let them know. Well, I knew what I wanted. 

I wanted to go to Norway. 

My house mate, best friend and all-round rock, Karoline, is Norwegian, you see. And boy oh boy did I want to see where she lived. It was just pretty handy that happened to be in one of the most beautiful countries in the world. Hurrah! 

So I got my passport sorted, nagged Ma and Pa (who were just as excited as I was) and off I flew. At 5am. Yikes. 

I knew Norway was going to be amazing and beautiful but... wow. I have a feeling this post is going to be full of wows and ohmygod and ican'tevenexplains. So I'm sorry in advance. Here's a little break down of some of the things we got up to because I was there for two weeks and a lot happened. 

Week One

We stayed with Karo's mamma in the first week. Just as a side note, her mother is one of the nicest people I have ever met. She's utterly adorable and so incredibly kind. I now know where Karoline gets her wonderfully kind nature from. (Seriously. The girl is a saint). 

We did a lot of touristy things in the first week. We visited Holmenkollen, Tjuvholmen, Grunerløkaa, Lillestrøm and many many places that I cannot pronounce or, I'm sure, you can read. I can assure you though, they were all divine. 

Oslo Opera House 

Oslo is a weird mix of old and new....

I could have sat here forever

We wandered around Oslo, sunbathed on some docks, climbed ski jumps and spent a day at Tusenfryd, a theme park which had some crazy rides and even crazier sun. God, it was warm! 
It was Haben's 25th birthday so on Saturday we hit the town and had a couple of drinks, of course. Haben and I hit up the dance floor with dance moves which were, frankly, bloody awful. But if you think that stopped us, you're wrong. I believe at one point Karoline was actually asked to 'stop her friends having so much fun'. Pfft. Whatever. 
And, readers, of courses there was time to relax. We spent a couple of days inside munching on Norwegian snacks, chilling and watching copious amounts of TV and films. It was perfect. 

Happy Birthday, Haben! 

Week Two 

Here we moved to Karo's dads place and it was time for a rooooooooad trip! 
We decided it would be nice to see a bit more of Norway to we packed up the car and off we went. Little did I know I would see landscapes that were so incredibly beautiful I will absolutely no way ever forget them. 
We drove all day. And I mean, all day. Towns gave way to mountains and snow! Snow! I live by the beach, people. The south of England does not do snow. 

Of course there were stops such as Lillehammer and Lom - where there is the most phenomenal bakery. But soon we were up in the mountains and my eyes were burning from looking so hard at everything that was around me. 
A sign telling us we were passing the highest fjord by road in the EU couldn't be resisted and so we drove up, up, up and eventually looked down on such incredible beauty. We could see for miles around, down over Geiranger (where we were to have dinner) and over the fjords. It was simply breathtaking and a sight I will never forget. 

The next day we headed to Flam where we took a train ride up into more mountains. You'd think I got sick of mountains, right? Nope. I don't think that would ever be possible. On the train, we passed tiny little huts and giant waterfalls where crazy Stevie Nicks-like women danced to hippy music, pretending to be mythical creatures. 
Note: This may be my future job. Busting slow, rhythmic dance moves on a waterfall. If I drop off the radar, you know where to find me. Head to Flam. 
But then we clambered back into the car and headed to our final destination. 
Bergen. 
We booked into our hotel and then went in search of something to eat. 

Now, I'd never heard of Bergen but apparently it's a pretty famous place. All I know is this; like everything in Norway, it's gorgeous. With ancient wooden buildings so old they're actually falling against each other, wonky and adorable, Bergen was just amazing and this was one of the most perfect evenings of my life. 
We found an absolutely darling restaurant in one of the aforementioned wonky buildings to eat in. Turns out it was a fish restaurant and oh my god was it delicious. As Karoline said the food was so good, I forgot to take a picture of it.  
Now that, my friends, is a testimony.



We then took a walk along the dock where the sun was throwing ridiculously vibrant colours over the water. And, to top it off, an old hipster guy was singing old country and Paul Simon songs with his daughter. 
I swear, I could have stood there forever and a day watching that guy singing with the sunset right behind him.

Does that sound idyllic or what?

An evening of bliss

The next day it was a little overcast but we manage to still managed to explore Bergen. We took a ride up another mountain (still not bored!) where you could see right over the city which was much bigger than I had first thought. The views were incredible and although a little overcast, was a lovely end to an absolutely incredible road trip.
And so the journey back began. 

It was a phenomenal road trip but it was wonderful to be back and to fall into bed. 

The rest of my Norwegian adventure flew past in a blur of sea food (so. much. sea food) fun and, well, Norwegian. 

All too soon I had to say good bye to my favourite girl and fly back to gloomy ol' England. The flight back was a whole other story in itself. God, it wasn't pleasant...but that's another tale.

But, at the end of the day, I had a 21st birthday present that I will never forget and Karoline, if you think I'm not coming back, you're very wrong my friend. Thank you very much for putting up with me for two weeks and showing me the time of my life. I said it many times but... I like your views, Norway. 

Leo. Whatta heart breaker. 

Special thanks to: 
Mette, Karoline's mama - Such a delight to meet and be around. She makes an absolutely crackin' creme brulee. 

HP, Karoline's papa - Who took us on the road trip and put up with my constant photo-taking.

Leo - The most adorable dog I have ever had the pleasure to throw toys for.

Karoline - Who I have nothing but love for. I hope I'm allowed back. 

Ma and Pa - Who provided the trip and who I love more than anything. 




Until next time, Readers. 
Love, laugh and adventure! 
Ha Det! 

M x 

Karoline. She knows how to wear a hat. 

The Divine Miss M

Well, Readers. A hell of a lot has happened since we last spoke (?) and I have an awful lot to blog about. Hurrah! But the first bit of business that we need to discuss is something - or someone - absolutely fabulous. Someone who is the epitomy of camp. Someone who could be described as...divine. 

It's no secret that I adore anyone who can be considered a gay icon and my friends have often said they're convinved I'm a 50 year old gay man, so when I saw Bette Midler was touring the UK on her Divine Intervention tour, I absolutely jumped at the chance to go. I managed to snatch early release tickets (thanks, 02 priorities!) for me and my sister and then began the long 6 month wait. 

Now, I know Bette Midler is wonderful. She's a bundle of energy and is showing no signs of slowing down despite being 69. It's safe to say we had pretty big expectations. Read: HUGE. 

She exceeded them.  

Coming out on the stage in a flirty pink baby doll dress, Bette is still looking amazing. And so it begins. 

Throughout the night, she switches from energetic numbers (complete with high kicks) to belting out emotional ballads at a rate of knots. I knew that Bette had a pair of lungs on her but ...wow. On albums she's amazing. In person, she's breathtaking. 

She sings a couple of songs from her new album, It's The Girls and some songs that neither my sister or I know, but as each one starts we look at eachother and nod. They're bloody good. Particularly noteworthy for me here is a cover of Leonard Cohens' Everybody Knows which, as far as I can see, she has never recorded but I wish she would. It was so beautiful, Readers. I adored it. 

Between songs she talks to the audience, cracking perfectly timed jokes with language that could, as they say, make a sailor blush.

And then, much to everyone's delight (especially mine) she comes out in full Winifred Sanderson costume and performs I Put A Spell On You from Hocus Pocus. It's no secret she's keen to do Hocus Pocus 2 and by the reaction, it would be extremely well received. Come on, Disney! Get on it!

Her extremely crude character, Soph, made an appearance dressed in a fabulous feathered number. Here, Bette waltzed across the stage telling jokes that are as old as the hills about 'her boyfriend Earnie' that are absolutely filthy. It's divine. She's been telling these jokes for 30 years or so, but they still crack the audience up and she clearly delights in their laughter. 

Another costume change brings a sequinned (hurrah!!) hot pink floor length gown and some of her biggest ballads. The Rose, From A Distance and, of course, Wind Beneath My Wings. All I can say is they were all beautiful. One that especially stood out to me was Stay which I hadn't actually heard before but has since been played on a loop. Take a listen if you have a moment. 

So to close here, I was expecting a lot from Bette. I've loved her since I was a little girl and saw her in Big Business (an absolutely cracking film. Go and watch it if you haven't already). I was hoping that I wouldn't be disappointed and I definitely was not. She stayed on stage for nearly 2 hours without any supporting act (except a fantastic band and three backing dancers - The Staggering Harlots) and she sang her freaking heart out. She's said before that she loves touring and performing and that can be seen from a mile away. She thrives on stage and it's no wonder she became so famous all those years ago; she has that thing that makes you want to watch her. She's Vaudevillian, Diva and a whole lotta Heart. 

I've always looked up to Bette because, much like Cher, she's someone who is completely herself and if you don't like it, you can lump it - they don't care. She's colour in a black and white world and she knows it. It's what she's built her career on. One doesn't name themself The Divine Miss M without believing they are, in fact, Divine. 

Personally, I think if you're still selling out world tours 40 years after starting out, there has to be a reason. Dedicated fans are only going to get you so far. Bette isn't only a singer who can belt a song out, she's an actress who can add emotion without seeming insincere - my sister and I are still unsure if she was actually getting emotional towards the end of the show or if she was acting. She can bring an audience through a show of non-stop Bette - jokes, stories, songs, dancing - and still leave them wanting more, more, more. 

It was a phenomenal show that I was glad I could share with my sister. And, in the words of Soph... 

I'll nevah forget it, ya know. 

M x 

Photograph is not my property