"I'm Just Popping Outside"

Warning: This is a moany, self pitying post. Megan is feeling pretty grumpy. 

Since my last blog post, not much has happened. I've worked a ridiculous amount (I mean really. Work is hard. They want me to actually do stuff and apparently it has to be done 'properly'. Ugh) and good news! I'm getting better. The dreaded steps have yet to trip me up although I'm still waiting for the day the floor and I become close acquaintances and I feel that I know what's occurring far more which has resulted in me being a little bit happier and thinking hey, perhaps I'm not sack-worthy! There's nothing like a teeny bit of self confidence. 

It was half term last week. For those that don't know for whatever reason, that pretty much means that schools have a week off and so a lot of people go on holiday and touristy areas such as the place that I live are swamped with people in strappy tops, flop flops and shorts who are hoping that it is sunny. A fish and chip shop obviously attracts a whole lot of sunburnt people. The place was absolutely packed most days and so I worked every day. In the place that I work, I spend most of the time in the restaurant taking orders or in a tiny kitchen where the drinks are prepared and the mugs etc are washed by an industrial washer that blows out a whole lot of steam. As you can probably imagine, with a crowded restaurant (I'd guess we can do around 50 people at once?) there is a hell of a lot of stuff that needs to get put through the washer pretty damn quickly. In short, the kitchen gets Hot with a capital H. The waitresses are usually flying around going from table to kitchen to fish fryers to table to kitchen to fryer... you get the picture. Anyone who says that working is not a work out is wrong. 

But it's not the working that I have a problem with. When the customers are leaving and you're wiping down the tables at a pace that seems snail-like compared to the way that you've been manically moving around at, it's actually very satisfying to think that you've got through the shift without collapsing in a mangled heap. 

No, what really grinds my gears are the following words;

'I'm just going to pop outside'

This exact wording of this probably varies from place to place but where I work, 'I'm just going to pop outside' is the way of saying 'I'm going for a smoke'. Now, this would be perfectly okay with me if we were completely quiet and no one was waiting to be served or receive food or, actually, waiting for anything. If we had nobody in and we were all sat around doing nothing, it would be a brilliant time to go outside and feed a habit. Any other time? Yeah, I'm not okay with that.

Off the top of my head, I think that I'm one of two waitresses that don't smoke and it's not often that I'm working with her, so I am usually with at least one other waitress and a manager that smokes. I don't actually have a problem with smoking; you want to smoke? You puff your little lungs black, honey. But do it in your own god damn time. Why is it that I, who often starts and finishes the same time as you do, should cover your tables as well as mine and stay inside on a gorgeous sunny day while you go out for ten minutes and smoke three or four times a shift? Me no comprehenday. 

We each have a radio at work so that we can contact the kitchen and each other (it's actually pretty nifty) and the more I hear '*person*, your tables food is ready' 'Oh, Meg can you get that for me?', the more it really starts to grate on me. This all sounds like a pretty childish rant because boo hoo, I have to do more work than anyone else, but that's not it. I just feel that the simple fact that I don't smoke shouldn't mean that I can't take a couple of minutes to sit down and chill out. Regroup. Calm. Because it can get pretty damn stressful in this bloody chip shop. 

And that goes for any work place. Remember that episode of Friends where Rachel is left out of decision making because they're all gathered on the roof smoking and talking about business? 

"It's like I'm being punished for not having this disgusting, poisoning habit!"  

I'm with ya there, Rach. It's an absolute bitch. 

So don't complain to me that you're so hot in the kitchen or your feet are hurting or you've barely sat down all day because buddy, I too have been in this kitchen and my feet are throbbing like a son of a gun. Only guess what? I don't have an excuse to 'pop outside' and take a nice breath of air for ten minutes and rest my bones when I feel like it because hey, I'm supposed to be working.

Cor blimey. It don't 'alf do me 'ead in! 

Rant over. 

M x 

I Should be Fired.

Just a quick update on the disaster that is... my life.

This week I started a new job. Since I've finished school and am in desperate need of some moneys, I got myself another little job working in a fish and chip shop not too far from me. I swore to myself that I would never work in a chip shop. Snobby? Mayhap. But I really didn't fancy the whole greasy hair/skin situation and stinking of chips and oil. That is no way to attract a life mate. But I have a lot of friends that work in this place and I have two close friends that work there and actually own a flat above it so I have somewhere to spend my breaks. I have plenty of hours there and it's convenient. I'm not in the actual frying part of the shop, more a separate section waitressing so it's not all bad. So here we are. Megan works in a chip shop as well as waitressing in the restaurant that I've worked in since I was 14. Hello Miss Moneybags. The fact that I will probably spend all money that I get the minute I get it is neither here nor there. 

I've finished 5 shifts at Frydays now and holey moley. I am absolutely stunned that I haven't been fired yet. I would have sacked me. Really. I consider myself to be reasonably clever. I can hold an intelligent conversation and I'm not exactly stupid, but anyone that has met me this last week must think that I am the doziest mare around. I've spilt jugs of milk. I've dropped plates of food on floor successfully smashing the plate. I've set three alarms that didn't go off so turned up 2 hours late for work. I've brought drinks to the wrong table. I've rung wrong orders through,  I've filled the salt pots with sugar. I mean, really. I am yet to complete a shift without making a ridiculous mistake that a 19 year old really shouldn't make. I have a feeling that the woman who is in charge is complaining about me to anyone that will listen and I, in all honestly wouldn't blame her. I have been awful. Although I have provided great amusement to my friends that work with me and made them all look like the very best of workers. Fantastic. 

I'm hoping that it's just been a bad week and I get better soon. It would be nice to prove that I'm not a complete clutz. I think that I'm just going to have to concentrate on every tiny movement I make which I've been trying to do but... I don't know. Things can only get better. 

I really enjoy working there so I hope they don't fire me before I get the hang of it! I don't want to hang up my apron and cap (yes, I have to wear a cap. Boo) yet! 

Oh. And there is a set of stairs that I have to walk up and down to collect each order. I am honestly waiting for the day that I fall down/up them. We all know it's coming. 

But at least it's the weekend now! I'm working tomorrow during the day at Frydays and then the evening at my other job. And then? Well. 

Yup. Although it's not good to drink your problems away, that is exactly what I intend to go. Vodka, come at me. Here's to a better week. Cheers. 

M x 

End of an Era

Well, readers. I am officially out of School/College/Sixth Form. Whatever you want to call it, I'm out of it. Really, I could not be happier. I spent an extra year of my life at my sixth form as I have explained in a previous post and to finally be done is just the biggest weight off my shoulders. I think that I've said it before, but I just didn't feel like I belonged there any more. My year group had all left and moved on with their lives and there I was with a group of people that I wasn't that keen on. Harsh, probably, but true. There are a handful of said year group that I adored and considered really good friends but the rest? Eh. Insert shrug here. Not seeing them every day won't be a loss and I'm sure that they'd say the same about me. But moving on. You know what? I think I might whack out the subheadings for this post. 

Last Day Drama

So on my last day, I had two exams; Economics and English Literature. The exam boards had scheduled them both for 1pm which meant that I had to sit my English exam early at 10:30. Annoying, yes. But not a problem. So in I go (I'm alone because I'm the only one who has this clash) and for those that haven't sat an English Lit exam, it's split into two essay questions that you're supposed to spend about an hour on each. One is an essay that you write about an extract that you're given and the other is about poetry, in my case Tennyson. So during the year you have a book of poems that you annotate and then when you get into the exam, you're given a another copy of the book which is blank and so you write your essay about whatever poem they've decided you've got to write it about. Anyway. So I'm feeling pretty good. My last essays I've handed have come back on my Moomin notepaper with a surprisingly cheery grade on. I've been sleeping well. I've had a ridiculous amount of coffee and I have that confident 'Exam, you're going down' spring in my step. I sit down, plan the first essay, start to write it and then notice that I've not actually been given a copy of the poetry book that I'm supposed to have. The invigilator looks pretty damn panicked when I tell him because hey, lets face it, they don't want to be dealing with this crap and then the exams boss lady comes in and tells me that they don't have any Tennyson books and, in short, I'm screwed. So to cut an already long boring story short, I had to sit half of my English exam and then stop and do my Economics exam while randomers went running around, desperately trying to find a very particular selection of Tennyson poems. It wasn't fun. I was losing my mind. When they handed me my Economics exam my brain literally went 'HA NO THIS IS NOT HAPPENING' and gave up. I can safely say that I have failed that exam. Eventually, they photocopied someone elses book and I had to sit the second half of my English exam 3 3 hours after I had started it. I'm not sure whose fault it was that I hadn't been given the book - the school said that the exam board didn't send them, but I personally think that it should have been doubled checked? Am I wrong? Either way, I'm gutted. As I was writing my first essay people were coming in and out of the hall and whispering to each other but not telling me what was going on so it's safe to say that my mind wasn't completely focused. I've been told that I'll be put in for special consideration but that means that I'll get a couple more marks when I'm sure that I would have done infinitely better had I been able to do my 2 hour English exam, have a half hour break and then do my Economics as expected. There we have it. My last day of school was pretty messed up. Typical!

It's not been all bad... 

I've made some friends this year who I hadn't even heard of last year. They've managed to make the painfully long breaks and lunches go a lot faster and been the root of some cheery memories that have made the year worth while. I love you fellas. I really do. 

This is probably going to be the dorkiest thing that I have written in a very long time but you know what? My blog, people. Deal with it. I was absolutely dreading this year. And we all know that I've not enjoyed it as such, but it hasn't been all bad. For a start, my lessons have been brilliant. Yup. That's right. One of the big highlights of my school year has been my lessons. I took 3 subjects this year and had four teachers (two for English). My Economics teacher really is as good as they come. He is one of those that make the most complicated of subjects simple. The man is teaching God. He expects the absolute best from his students and really encourages them all which should go without saying from a teacher but I've found sadly does not. If you need help with something, he'll help you. Simple. I really got on with him and although he can be an absolute douche, you always know that he has your back. I had a massive drama with a teacher when I was in year 12 and if he hadn't been behind me with it, I would have absolutely lost my mind because I know that nobody else would have. It really makes a difference when you know that a teacher is going to listen to what you have to say and take you seriously, not treat you like a child and automatically take the side of the adult. Coooor, there is nothing worse! 

And English, despite the exam being a nightmare, was brilliant. I walked into my first lesson having never been taught by either of my two teachers but having heard a lot about them from friends (one I'd heard to be an absolute hero but the other... Well, she has a reputation for being a bit scary ;) ) I was also in a class of 16/17 year olds that I didn't know and being the grand old age of 19, I wasn't really sure how it was going to go. But a friend of mine, Jared, turned up and oh my Jesus it was a relief. But the class turned out to be lovely (although I don't think I heard most of them speak until a good 3 months into the year) and both teachers were absolutely lovely. I got on really well with both of them and I'm actually really going to miss them. Yup. Loser Megan is a loser. One of them is the biggest feminist you've ever met and mad as a box of a frogs but she's a hoot and a half and managed to make Tennyson (semi) interesting so, ya know, hats off to her. I came to actually really admire her - there is absolutely no messing with this woman. I mean, really. She's nails. My other teacher also had her pretty crazy moments and I admire her just as much. She taught us the Victorian topic and as a published author (I'll be waiting for my signed copy when her book is out at the end of the year!!) who has based her stories in the Victorian era, there is very little that she doesn't know about ye olden daye. It's amazing how much of a difference it makes when a teacher clearly adores their topic and knows everything there is to know about it. I think that I mentioned before in my post about my week at Arvon, but we have the same taste in books and she's lent me a couple over the year which I loved. There really is nothing better than a person who likes the same books as you. At least if there is, I'm yet to find it. 

Yup. The teachers that you have really do make an incredible difference to the year. I've had years when lessons have been such a struggle and topics have been unbearable because of the person in charge. I was so lucky this year.

So what's next?

Uni, come at me! I really cannot wait. I've been in a tiny little town for far too long now. This little bird has wings that need to be spread! 

I've gotten myself another job for the summer so I have two now which will keep me busy and, more importantly, get the moneys rolling in! I'm going to need it when I'm a poor, poor student in September. And then it's off to Bournemouth University (if all goes to plan) to study Public Relations. That's right. I'm going to be the real life Eddie from Absolutely Fabulous. I just need to find my Patsy... 

A little excitement

I also received an uncorrected proof of a book called 'My Notorious Life by Madame x' by Kate Manning the other day. I am so excited to read it! I won it in a give away on Goodreads.com and the cover alone makes me want to read it! 

‘In the end, they celebrated. They bragged.

They got me finally, was their feeling.

They said I would take my secrets to the grave.

They should be so lucky.’

'A stunning tale of sex, freedom, family and the many faces of love, set in nineteenth-century New York'?? I am all over that! I can't wait to get my teeth into it. 

And it's recommended to those that love The Night Circus and The Crimson Petal and the White which are two of my favourite books. Ooft, it's gonna be a good'en!! 

And with that, I shall leave you! This has been me for the last week or two and this has been one tedious blog post! If you've made it this far, I salute you and give you my humble thanks!

For those of you that are taking exams, whatever they may be, I wish you the best of luck and hope they go a little smoother than mine did!! 

M x

Megan is Angry

I went out last night to the local club. And I use the word 'club' very loosely. This place is absolutely tiny and in the middle of a sleepy seaside down which never has anything happen in it. It's all very picturesque and pretty and old people'y. Lovely. So I went out with some friends and for the first time in a very very very long time I was actually really enjoying myself! Yay! 

Until I checked my phone. 

Or didn't, as the case may be. 

Because someone has stolen my dear little mobile. 

I have been absolutely fuming all day. My beloved iphone 3 is no longer here and it has made me absolutely inconsolable. Don't get me wrong, I know that it's ridiculous to be so attached to a phone and I actually consider myself to be less attached than a lot of people I know; I occasionally like to be phone'less and enjoy the real world. But having the choice to put your phone down or leave it at home is so different from having it taken. 

I only brought this phone 2 months ago and I know. Iphone 3. Apple don't even do updates for it anymore. It sucks and it's crap but it was mine. It was my Ipod too and as someone that has music playing 24 hours a day, I'm not very impressed. The screen was broken in two places and it had a lock on it. There is absolutely no reason for a sane person to want this hunk'o'junk; they'd make no money on it and I highly doubt that anyone would actually want to use it, so why take it? 

This is what I hate. 

Going out for a night is hardwork now! Not now my phones been stolen, I mean, but in general. You have to decide what you want to take with you and then you have to decide how you're going to carry that round with you because if you don't... boom. Taken. I've had a lot of friends that have had things stolen from cloak rooms so even they're not safe. Purses, cameras, phones. We want to take them out with us on a night out but there is always the risk that someone is going to take a fancy to your stuff that you've paid for and just take it for themselves. What gives them that right? Really? What makes them think that they can go on a night out and take a girls handbag or see a phone lying around and just take it for themselves? It's ridiculous. That persons night is automatically ruined as is, more than likely, the following day because they're going to be doing everything they can to get their belongings back. 

It really baffles me. 

And at this moment in time, it really pisses me off. 

I've spent my day, between shifts at work, trying to track down my lost phone. Calling the club. Calling my phone. Talking to o2. Talking to Carphone Warehouse. All credit to my bosses who didn't go insane at me constantly talking about my beloved phone. 

I just want it back :( 

RIP IPHONE

I'll Miss You

March 2013 - May 2013.

M x 

Adventures to Birmingham

I'm not sure if I mentioned this in a previous post, but for my birthday my brother brought me P!nk tickets. I can't explain how excited I was. With 2 months two go, I patiently waited down the months and weeks and days until the 22nd of April was within tasting distance. Then I got super excited. 

The concert was in Birmingham which is about 3 hours from where I live and my brother booked up some swanky looking hotel rooms for us (he was coming with me). My darling friend, Jess, lives in Birmingham so the plan was to meet up with her on Monday day and then see P!nk in the evening. It was a plan that was perfectly laid but as we all know, the most perfect of plans usually fall flat and end up a giant waste of excitement. 

On Monday morning I got up ridiculously early (half 6? Is that even a time?! I think not) and threw some clothes in a bag and off we set. For the three hours that we were travelling, I was texting Jess back and forth about where to meet her and what was going on and how very very very excited I was to see her. We got there in the end and ... Jess got lost. That crazy creature of a girl had managed to get lost in the city that she has known since she was a mere child. Only her. Tut. But anyway, I eventually saw this lovely girl with her dipdyed hair walking towards me. Eep! 

I can honestly say I've not had such a good day for a very long time. We didn't do anything particularly special. We moseyed around 2 Pandora shops so that she could try and find the Pandora charms that the Girls Aloud girls have because she is absolutely insanely obsessed with them. We obsesseys tend to stick together, you know. We spent god knows how long in various toy stores pressing buttons and gizmos and marveling at just how bloody wonderful Disney is and how lucky kids are to be able to have all the toys and games and clothes and teddies and stuff brought for them. We went and saw the Birmingham Bull which I had never heard of but is, apparently, a  very big attraction in Birms. We got a Starbucks and sat and chatted for a while. We were asked the significance of a church by a french woman that we were't able to answer. We went to Primark and shared our disgust at pretty much all the clothes there. It seems like an average day and it probably was. But I loved every second and Jess, if you're reading this, I love you very much. 

First View of Birms... Glass

So Jess dropped me off at my hotel and off she went into the sunset so that I could get ready for P!nk. I spend some time enjoying the amazing shower in my hotel room and watching TV, reveling in being able to pick the channel I wanted and the volume I wanted. Heaven. Cut to a while later when my brother and I are in a bar having a couple of drinks before we leave. Finally. The time has come. Nothing can stop me from seeing P!nk now. 

All dressed up with no place to go

Except a phone call from Jess saying that she'd been sat next to two girls on the train that had been crying their eyes out. Why I hear you ask? Oh. You know. Because P!nk had cancelled. Brilliant. Bloody brilliant. 

So I didn't get to see her and I am gutted. She has said that she's going to reschedule but it doesn't make me any less bitter. Boo. Hiss. 

 Drink the sadness away

Instead, we went to a swanky Indian place and were treated like royalty. It's funny how well people treat you when they know their food prices are sky high. Hmmm. 

Back in my hotel room I watched the last episode of Broadchurch (gasp! Amazing!!) and enjoyed a verrrryyyyy nice nights sleep. And then we were off home. Back to boring old Devon where there's not as much pollution, more fields and my Mumma, but also void of the excitement that comes with being somewhere that you don't live. Sigh. 

Bye Bye Birmingham

So I didn't get to see P!nk and my first trip to Birms wasn't exactly what I thought it would be, but I had a beautiful day with a beautiful girl that I will remember for a long long time. And hey, if P!nk does reschedule, maybe I'll get to do it all over again. Jess, get ready. Megan's coming back! #

Did any of you readers have tickets for the same concert at the LG on the 22nd?? I don't suppose you did, but let me know! Or have you been the victim of a concert cancellation? What did you do instead? Let me know!

Ps. I'm sorry for typing P!nk with the exclaimation mark so many times. It winds me up too. 

PPS. If you fancy giving me a little follow on Instagram, my username (Instaname?) is Megrudders_ 

M x 

Shiny, Shiny Hair.

Recently my hair has had enough and well and truly given up the ghost. After having it cut, I couldn't believe how lovely it felt and how soft and healthy. Ooft. It was amazing. At that time I was dying it from my natural blonde to brown so I knew that I would be redying every 6 weeks or so. And then I got bored of brown and wanted to go ginger. So off to Tesco I went and brought me some ginger dye and ... it didn't work. The brown was too dark and the colour just didn't take. Way to waste money, Megan. But the next day my friend and I had the brilliant idea of bleaching it to make it dip dyed! Yay. Smart move. Only the ends of my hair turned, what, the blonde that I now wanted? Nope. The ginger that I had wanted the previous day. But I looked like some kind of ginger/brunette crossbreed which was not attractive. So with the rest of the bleach that we had, we dyed the top half of my hair and, although effectively turned it ginger, managed to kill it. My newly alive hair wasn't so alive anymore. Weep. Sob. 

So I've been using different products in an attempt to revive my hair but alas, to no avail. 

(This is where I get to the point of this blog post. I'm just setting the scene. Megan. Dead hair. Got it? Good) 

Wandering around my local little (and I mean tiny) pharmacy the other day, I was on the hunt for a hair mask or treatment of some kind and came across V05 Hot Oil Give Me Moisture. I had a vague memory of my mum using it in the past and so at £3.50 for four treatments, I brought it.

 Each treatment comes in an individual soft plastic tube with a twist top. Before opening, you just drop it in some warm water for a couple of minutes (or you can drop it in the bath with you or run it under your shower water) and then take the top off and whack it one your hair. The instructions say to only leave it on for one minute because it's strong and can cause damage if used for longer. I'm not too sure about that because companies say all kinds of things to cover their own backs if anything goes wrong, but I left it on for a minute none-the-less and then washed it off. I have to say, my hair didn't feel much different at that time but  you know, you have to give these things a chance. I've read a couple of people saying that the smell is a bit too strong for them but I could barely smell it at all. You then wash your hair with shampoo and conditioner as usual. 

When I blow dried my hair with my usual heat defense, I noticed immediately that it felt softer. It almost feels how it did before I bleached it which, let me tell you, was bloody unexpected. It also look so shiny! Yay! The stray hairs that were sticking up all over the place and really grinding my gears before stayed down and in place which, with my current bob, is an absolute must. Random hair sticking out really doesn't look good but this oil seemed to help tame my hair a little. I'm absolutely thrilled. 

For the price, this is a must have product. It says that you should use it once weekly or more if necessary and seeing as that would only be £3.50 a month, I'll definitely be investing. My hair looks and feels so much healthier and it's surprising how much better you feel about yourself when your hair is in good condition. 

 

I would highly recommend this product to anyone in need of a hair boost and seeing as the pharmacist I got it in was a very small town one, I'm sure that you can pick it up in any Boots, Superdrug or drugstore. 

What're you waiting for?! 

M x 

Just What I Didn't Need....Another Obsession.

At this very moment, I have an essay and a piece of coursework that are screaming at me to be written. One is due tomorrow and the other is needed to be handed in tomorrow for review. So what do I do? Neither. 

Time to update my beloved blog. 

I noticed that I've gone from several updates per month to one or two and that makes me sad. I don't want it to get neglected so I am going to try and update more regularly! I promise! 

Months and months ago, my darling sister told me that there is a show that I should really watch. Apparently it was really funny and glittery and amazing and "it has the woman from Will and Grace in". Now, I love Will&Grace and Karen was a bit of an idol of mine when I was younger - who doesn't love that drunk, pill-popping bitch? - but it turns out that she didn't mean Karen, she meant Grace. And that show was called SMASH. 

SMASH is now my life. 

As is Debra Messing. 

SMASH isn't very popular in the UK and I'm not sure if it's even shown here because I have been watching it online, but the very brief idea of it is an ensemble of people are trying to put together a broadway musical about Marilyn Monroe. And it is incredible. We're introduced to the producer, director, lyricist, composer, dancers and the two girls that are battling it out to get the main role of Marilyn. The show has a bit of Glee about it in the way it has full musical numbers, but they're (mainly) from the musical and so I think blend into the show in a far more natural way than the songs from Glee do. Plus they're all original songs that are written by a team that have worked on musicals such as Chicago. It's all pretty top notch stuff. 

So far there have been two series of SMASH and it's looking like there won't be a third which is such a shame, but there will never be a time that the soundtrack from the show won't be on my Ipod from now on. I love musicals and broadway and the soundtrack is perfect. The two ladies that are competing to be Marilyn (Katherine McFee as Karen Cartwright and Megan Hilty as Ivy Lynn) are both amazing singers in completely different ways. Katherine - who made her name on American Idol - is a kind of homely singer with a beautiful voice, suiting the more poppy side of the show whereas Megan can pull of the big broadway numbers and ballads like no other. She's done a stint in Wicked on the real broadway so, you know. Girl's got pipes. The songs are pretty fun and the production of them all are often big and bold, including sequences that, when in rehershals, give the viewer an idea of the production on stage which is a lovely touch. 

One of my favourite songs from the series with Megan and Katherine both singing. I adore it! 

So anyway. Debra Messing is in this show and because of it, I have added her to my list of obsessions. Yup. Very much so. Her tag is now tracked on Tumblr. That's the sign. 

I absolutely adore Debra in Will&Grace and have seen her in a couple of other bits and bobs including a film called The Wedding Date which I absolutely loved and a series called The Starter Wife which again, although a little cheesy and strange at times, was brilliant. 

Also, can we just take a moment to marvel at that hair?! 

Errr Helloo? Why can't I have a hairdresser on hand that makes my hair look like that 24/7?? 

Oh yeah. Because I'm not loaded. 

God damn you, Life. Such a bitch. 

M x